I take celebrating my independence very seriously. It’s true that I have many concerns in my life, but tyranny is not one of them. July 4 is the one day all year on which I refuse to go to work. I wouldn’t mind working even on Christmas as much as it would pain me to be trapped on Independence Day. It’s very convenient that both are considered federal holidays; they can’t make me work.
So what are my plans for the day? I have no idea. I predict that they will eventually include sunshine, ice cream, and fireworks, but other than that, my schedule’s open. I have the freedom to do pretty much whatever I want and I intend to exercise it!
In my opinion, the Fourth of July should be celebrated in such a way as to make the founding fathers proud—and some of them really knew how to party. Just ask Ben Franklin what he was up to in Paris. Sam Adams was apparently a big fan of beer, none of that wimpy tea stuff for him.
Yup, those founding fathers weren’t saints. They also weren’t cowards, like so many of their proper neighbors who were too scared to even consider independence. Strict adherence to too many rules eventually weakens a person’s ability for free-thought. I say, take hold of your liberty! Cast off all preconceived assumptions and dance in your independence!