Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Spring in my Step

Ah, Spring! When the whole world reawakens from its wintry slumber, refreshing itself with showers and dressing itself in new life. The stirring of both spiritual and natural resurrection demand celebration, which we gladly give. This time of year always makes me wish I were a poet so that I could more fully observe such revitalization.

This past Winter refused to relinquish its frigid grasp on Scranton for the longest time. We were all tantalized by a few rays of sunshine, only to be disappointed in more snow. Easter and Spring were both so late in arrival this year! However, the birds outside my window sing to me their assurances that the sun is finally here to stay.

Seeing the new buds begin to bloom, I can’t help but smile. Walking on Sunshine has been playing in my head all day. Just as the ice has melted, so have I determined to enjoy the promises of the season and conquer the depressing failures of the past few months. I am trying very hard to catch a breath of the fresh air while I still can.

Now, we’re hurtling toward summer vacation and wedding season. A whole new set of challenges are just up ahead. But for today, take a break. Go for a walk. Literally stop and smell the new flowers. We should appreciate Spring and the gift of renewal it brings. No matter what happens, every year it reminds us that life goes on. For that, I am grateful.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

On Fire for a Dream

This past weekend I traveled to Pittsburgh with my friend Amy Kelly, a brilliant photographer. Amy is one of those people who inspire me while simultaneously depressing me. She has been chasing her dream! Her photography has reached the point of artistry and her business has taken off. Spending hours in the car with her was like getting lost in a carnival’s house of mirrors.

As I have been examining my own life lately, I’ve come to realize that something is missing: a dream. There is no spark in my life, no Northern star. I’m doing alright for myself, making what some might call progress, but to what end? I have so much passion but have yet to find a suitable outlet for it, so it just diffuses into hundreds of insignificant diversions. I want more than a life that's just fine.

So many people are so sure of who they are and what they’re doing here. I envy that certainty. Where I am now is fine, but I know that it’s not where I want to be forever. However, lightning still has not struck. I figure that until I am inspired to move on, I should be content as I am. It has become incredibly frustrating to watch my friends’ souls catch fire and explode… while I lack even an ignition.

There are so many things that I could do with my life, but all of the truly important accomplishments escape me. My greatest dream is to be a wife and mother; that obviously isn’t happening any time soon, so what should I do in the meantime? If I could change even one person’s life, then I could know that my own has been valuable. Maybe the dream for my life will only be to catch fire.