Thursday, June 3, 2010

Call the Waahmbulance

First thing this morning, I heard a sound that completely turned my stomach. It sounded something like “STAAAA-HOPPPP!”

For those of you who don’t speak TSB, that’s the whined form of “stop.” This particular version is popular with two-year olds and blondes all over the world. “Do you know what the number one killer of girls under the age of 30 is? Self-pity. I want to help you, but you have to do something: stop crying. Right now. No, seriously. You’re giving me a headache.”

One of my rules is that if you are not going to deal with an issue, you are NOT allowed to whine about it. Much of life is difficult and while it may be tempting to complain, that will not fix the problem. I am not discrediting a legitimate lamentation for real problems—such as world hunger. However, if your roommate ate your Ramen, I do not want to hear about it.

Sometimes, talking through a situation helps you fully grasp it and formulate a solution. Whining and complaining, on the other hand, is completely unproductive. The TSB should have tried an assertive “Stop!” instead of whining. Nobody really wants to hear whining and nobody will respect an opinion delivered through a moan. If you genuinely want help, please just ask!

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