Thursday, May 13, 2010

A Sad Day for Hockey

This morning, I am having a very difficult time finding anything to celebrate. My beloved Pittsburgh Penguins were slaughtered last night. Thankfully, they're a vigorous lot and will be back again next year, much like the Antarctic breed, but still... heartbreaking. My heart is broken. It's lying on the ice in a thousand little pieces, each a frozen tear that I shed.

This unfortunate event is not a complete surprise. The Montreal Canadiens massacred the Washington Capitals just two weeks before in the biggest upset of the season. The Habs have the hottest goalie in the league at the moment and effectively halted Ovechkin's blitzkrieg before rolling into Pennsylvania. It will be interesting to see how much further they can go and it would no longer shock me if they went all the way to the top. Still, I have my suspicions about last night's game and will detail them here for you.

Reasons the Canadiens Won
Hal Gill is one of the best defensemen in the league. We loved him as a Penguin and miss him very much. Maybe a little too much. It seemed as though nobody could remember that he was playing for Montreal and kept giving him the puck, just like the good old days. Hal may have also just taken it for himself a few times, because let's face it, who's going to argue with a 6'7, 240 lb hunk of man who's holding a stick?

• Everyone knows that Canada wants the Cup this year. They think it would be really cool to win Olympic gold and the Stanley Cup in the same year (and honestly, it would be cool for them). I believe this sentiment to be shared by several Canadians on our team, namely Sidney Crosby and Marc-Andre Fleury, whose performances were apathetic at best. It is my assertion that they desire the victory more for their native land than their current team and therefore did not fight as hard as they could have against Montreal.

• As team captain, much of the blame falls on Sid "The Kid" Crosby, and rightly so. His apparent inablity to score, let alone effectively lead the team, is crippling. If you're going to be in charge, DO SOMETHING! Otherwise, I say we hand Mario a pair of skates and let him get back out there.

• While he is generally an excellent goal-tender, Fleury has his off nights just like every other guy. Coach Bylsma must have also been having an off night because he really should have pulled Fleury out by the end of the first period.

• I'm pretty sure the refs were bribed.

Consolations to the Penguins
• We did play all seven games of the series.

• It was not a shut-out, thanks to some of the guys who actually showed up to play. Big shouts out to my boys Geno and Jordan: LOVE YOU GUYS! Also Brent Johnson, whom I think should replace Fleury in the line-up next year.

• Speaking of next year, we're about to move into the beautiful, brand-new, state of the art, Consol Energy Center! Although I'm not sure how much improvement has been made in the art of freezing water in the past several thousand years... Anyway, the new arena is very exciting!

• Even though we have lost our shot at the Cup this year, so have the Capitals and the Red Wings. At least if we won't have it, neither will they!

• I found a dime on the sidewalk this morning.

So if you see me walking around doing my Keith Richards impression, it's just because I'm remembering that while you can't always get what you want, if you try, sometimes you get what you need. Right now I need my depression medication. I did just get some good news from my boss (apparently the Business Office isn't completely heartless), which is slightly exciting. I also found out that a roundtrip ticket to London costs about $1000, so any contributions would be appreciated. Then again, who needs roundtrip?

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