Today, I spent about eight hours sitting in a car in order to spend about an hour sitting in a church and about half an hour standing in the sun. Why would I do such a thing, you may ask. I asked myself that same question approximately two thousand times today.
The occasion was that of a wedding. A wedding is a peculiar beast. Supposedly, it is a celebration of two people’s love and dedication to each other. In actuality, it is an archaic social contraption, which legitimizes the transfer of property and power between families. The majority of a wedding ceremony is designed to satisfy medieval and Victorian guidelines of reasonable decorum.
Don’t get me wrong—I love to celebrate with my friends who decide to enter into honorable marriage. However, weddings and marriages are two very different things. A marriage is a sacred union that occurs when a man and a woman become one, for better or worse, till death do us part. A wedding is a display of wealth and copulation to society.
This is why most weddings are fundamentally the same. Oh sure, each may have a unique element (generally, the color of the bridesmaids dresses—teal or pink). These affairs usually cost at least several thousand dollars, but may never actually be paid for, thanks to the modern invention of credit cards.
So… congratulations to Karl and Liz! Your wedding was lovely and we all wish you well as you seek to combine your respective familial and financial obligations.