Today, two of my friends have been starkly contrasted before my eyes. I love both dearly, but only one of them is honest with me. This morning, she admitted to me that she had one too many last night—even to the point of drunk-dialing her boyfriend and telling him exactly how she felt about him lying to her earlier in the day. My other friend, on the other hand, has been hiding something from me for over a month. I already know what’s going on, but I would like to hear the truth from the source.
My Honest Friend knew that I would not judge or criticize her. She and I have such a transparent relationship that we can be painfully honest with each other about how we feel. H.F. knows that I want what’s best for her and that when she is open with me, I’m not going to hurt her but will try to help her. I wish that my Dishonest Friend would understand that aspect of what comes with my friendship. I want to help, but can’t if you won’t trust me with the truth.
Habitual dishonesty is rampant. We have forgotten how easily we can become trapped by a simple lie, forced to heap up untruths to cover the first. Even a simple greeting of “hey, how are you?” is normally responded to with “good, how are you?” It seems simpler to hide whatever may be wrong than to give a genuine answer. Maybe if more people replied “not good, but thanks for asking” ...but that's just crazy.
It concerns me that people are generally most forthcoming when inebriated. My D.F. may not have gotten drunk last night, but it was my H.F. who actually spoke the truth to me. The fear of rejection is crippling to the point of requiring external stimuli for us to get past it. Very few people have the courage to tell the whole truth to each other. Why can’t we constantly be painfully, embarrassingly drunk-honest with each other?
So, to those of you who are honest with me, no matter how potentially awkward and uncomfortable it may be for both me and you: THANK YOU!!! I love you and let's keep it up! Let's just do it sober, okay?