Last night my friend Amy and I went to a comedy club, which I’m pretty sure is the only one in Scranton. Neither of us had ever been before, but we figured it was worth a shot. The comedy was okay… not bad, but I know why these guys were playing Scranton.
Halfway through the last guy’s routine, he starts playing a movie quote game with the audience. That was when it happened. It was not entirely my fault... he did say just to yell out the answer if you knew it and he should have realized that eventually someone would know it. However, it turns out that I was actually the first person ever to get the answer correct.
The movie quote was “we keep you alive to serve this ship. Row well and live.”
In the pause that followed the delivery of the line, I leaned over to Amy and whispered that it was from Ben-Hur. She, being such a supportive friend, encouraged me to yell it out. So I did.
What followed was a moment of silence. It felt like there had been a death and indeed, there had been. I had killed the poor guy’s routine. At that moment, as everyone looked around to see who had said that, I knew that I had done it again.
I was instantaneously transported back to the first grade. The teacher asked “does anyone know where Antarctica is?” as the beginning of her lesson. I raised my hand and proceeded to inform everyone in the class that Antarctica is the seventh continent, located at the southern base of the globe, and is covered in ice and snow. Meanwhile, all the other kids were still trying to count to seven and wondering if AJ was ever going to get that Lego out of his nose.
As the comedian stood there staring at me, all I could think was “oops!” Somewhere around middle school I had discovered that having all the answers was not always a good thing. I had started keeping my mouth shut more and people started liking me more. But last night, I blew it. Nobody laughed. Everyone just stared.
Finally, the guy cleared his throat. “So what’s your name, princess?” he asked. “What are you, some kind of movie buff or something?” Yes. Duh. Also, my parents constantly used that line in reference to my household chores.
I did find it incredibly ironic that he called me princess while asking for my name, since that’s what my name means. From now on, however, I’ll try to keep my mouth shut along with all the other idiots. Hopefully, they may let me back into the club again someday.
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