Older Women Teach

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior… to teach what is good, and so train the young women… that the word of God may not be reviled.

Titus 2:3-5, ESV

Recently I have been noticing how much my relationships with older women have been developing. Now, by “older women” I simply mean women who have been handling life a little bit longer than I have—not that anyone is actually old. As I continue through life, some things are getting easier, but a lot of things are getting harder. Having more experienced people’s help along the way makes a HUGE difference.

These godly women have been helping to fill the void left by my mother. I wouldn’t say that anyone is formally mentoring me, but they are all teaching me something: one woman loves to remind me that she didn’t even meet her husband till she was 30. Another one has the best dessert recipes ever! Another has never been able to have children. Another one is a little bit older and still single, but she’s probably the coolest person I’ve ever met.

Something I’ve been learning about life is that no two experiences are the same. There may be some general similarities, but the happy family with 2.5 kids is more the exception than the rule. Nobody’s life is perfect, certainly not all the time. What matters is your ability to gracefully deal with all the conflict and confusion, especially in the everyday.

The best part is that most of the time, these women inspire me without even realizing it. I may see them at church, or at work, or on facebook, or at Walmart… the where does not matter because of who they are. They are living as virtuous examples. It’s a little scary to think that there's always someone younger who might be watching me, looking for her own role model. I guess the good news is that we “older women” are all in the whole “teaching” thing together.

Christmas Time Is Here

Christmas is coming! Based on my calculations it should be here… tomorrow! Yes, I know the calendar says it should take another 124 days, but based on how quickly the summer went by, I figure it will only feel like one day, maybe two. Personally, I had planned to do a lot over the summer but ran out of time. After all, you can’t do much overnight.

That’s sure what it feels like to me. It feels like commencement was just yesterday, yet we already have convocation today. Somehow, I managed to be in a wedding, find a new apartment, undergo knee surgery, go to New York three times, and fall in love with my Kindle—all between yesterday and today. However, that isn’t nearly as much as I had wanted to do!

So little time, so much to do. I had wanted to get to the beach. I had wanted to have a Lord of the Rings marathon. I had wanted to rearrange my office. I had wanted to update my blog more often. Somehow, all that time just got away from me. Crazy work hours dominated the few days of nice weather with which Scranton is graced every year. Life has always been a battle between what I need to do and what I want to do.

The beautiful thing about Christmas is its scheduled sanctity. We get federal holidays and office parties and bonus checks: we get a BREAK. I don’t know about you, but I know that I’m already looking forward to the vacation. All those tranquil days of quiet snow that can be spent cuddled under a blanket on the couch… I’m feeling peaceful just thinking about it! Good thing it will be here tomorrow.

Toy Story

A very scary thing happened to me yesterday: I legitimately used the phrase “when I was your age.” This terrifies me because I don’t think I’m that old! However, when confounded by the modern toy industry, it was entirely appropriate. All my friends are having babies now and a generation gap has officially formed twixt my own childhood and “kids these days.”

The problem was that I was searching for a classic toy. I checked the toy departments in Walmart and Target first, because I was there anyway. Then I went to Toys R Us, which was a huge mistake. The only sales associate I could find was a teenager who looked like she hated her job almost as much as she hated her life. How could you hate working at a toy store? Only way to beat that would be to work in Santa’s workshop itself!

She just gave me a blank stare when I said that I couldn’t find a paratrooper toy. “What’s a paratrooper?” I very politely described the parachuting soldier doll, trying my best not to call her an idiot. She had another blank stare, then mumbled something about them not having it and walked off. I resumed the search on my own and eventually concluded that she her lazy guess had been correct.

When we were growing up, my brothers and I had basic toys, mostly because we never had any money. I loved my Etch-A-Sketch and Polly Pockets. What I did not love was stepping on random Lego blocks all over the house. We actually played with our toys, often even outside. The only “luxury” toy I ever had was my American Girl doll, which was a Christmas gift from my grandparents. I definitely still have her.

Most of our toys were pretty low-tech. I did have a Galaxy class U.S.S. Enterprise model with detachable dish and warp engines, which even made warp and torpedo sounds. There was always great debate between me and Andrew about who had the Enterprise and who had the Klingon Bird of Prey—but we always agreed that James got the lame shuttlecraft.

It was such a big deal when the boys got their first Nintendo 64. Up until then, my Furby had been the most high-tech toy. We never did get Gameboys. As I looked around at all the new toys yesterday, I was amazed. Almost none of them lacked electronics of some sort. G.I. Joe and Barbie are now fully articulated, yet even they were largely outnumbered by action figures for the latest movies.

The lack of educational toys was heartbreaking. When I was a kid, we still had to use our heads to play. We actually learned how to build rockets! Nowadays, toys don’t leave much room for imagination. You don’t have to imagine your toys coming to life when they can already walk and talk and fight crime on their own. Give me a Thomas the Tank Engine set any day. You can keep your Orbeez Soothing Spa set.

Little House in a Good Hood

Sometimes God’s perfect timing comes when you least expect it. My friend Laura and I recently experienced one such surprise blessing: a new apartment! Everything has worked out so perfectly that there is no way we could have planned it so well ourselves. Weeks later, I still can’t believe it all actually happened.

What happened was that I realized I hadn’t seen my fellow librarian Laura in ages and felt like a bad friend, so we had dinner on a Saturday night. Around the same time, I realized that my current lease was about to be up. Over the course of dinner, we got to talking and figured out that it might be a good idea for the two of us to look for a new place together.

When I got home Saturday night, I hopped on Google to have a look around. At the top of the list was an ad for an apartment that was showing the next day. It really looked too good to be true, but I figured it couldn’t hurt to go check it out. I emailed Laura and she thought the same thing. So Sunday afternoon, we went to have a look.

It actually was as awesome as it looked online—way bigger than the shoebox I’d been living in, with hardwood floors and a new kitchen, conveniently located near our jobs. The space was actually on two floors (living room and kitchen downstairs, two bedrooms and bath upstairs), making it feel more like a little house than an apartment. The price was exactly where Laura and I had agreed we felt comfortable.

We fell in love with the apartment, but figured we’d never get it. After all, we’re practically still just kids, and several other people were also interested. The landlords said they would make a decision and let us know by the end of the week. Monday morning they called to say it was ours if we wanted it. Of course we wanted it!

Less than 48 hours after deciding to look around, we had it. There were still lots of details to work out. I had to move out of my apartment; Laura had to move out of her parents’ house. It got pretty crazy for a while there. There were a few little snags, like getting the electricity turned on, but everything eventually fell into place. A big thanks again to all my friends who helped us!

I am now living in a genuine neighborhood for the first time in… a long time. We already knew the family nextdoor, who turned out to be some of my coworkers. I just love hearing the kids playing in their yards and sometimes even mine. There was even a big bonfire the day after we moved in, so I got to meet everyone almost immediately.

It never ceases to amaze me how the timing in life correlates with personal development. Did it happen because I was ready? Or was I ready because it was happening? I’ll never know. All I can do is wonder what’s coming next. For now, I’m more than content to dream about the future from my awesome new home. Be jealous.

Now I Want Yogurt

It’s back! The Burn Notice season premiere tonight signifies the start of summer programming. Besides providing us with an example of the proper use of a Ke$ha song, the much-anticipated kick-off relieves some serious television ennui. The season finales of Castle, Bones, Chuck, The Office, Parks & Recreation, House, NCIS, Community, Hawaii 5-0, Glee, Big Bang Theory, and all other primetime staples were over a month ago.

Thankfully, USA Network’s program schedule is just gearing up with new episodes of In Plain Sight, White Collar, Covert Affairs, Royal Pains, and of course, Burn Notice (aka, The Show That's Impossible To Watch Without Wanting Yogurt). Psych has unfortunately been bumped from its usual slot to the Fall, so that the channel can launch two new shows. While we’ll miss Shawn and Gus a while longer, it’s okay because the whole Burn gang is back.

That’s right, the hottest parts of summer are back! Michael, Fiona, Sam, Maddie, Jesse, Barry, Nate, Sugar, Dead Larry… they’re all back and reportedly better than ever, now that Michael has been reinstated as a spy. Not to mention the Charger, Miami, plastic explosives, sunglasses, improvised listening devices, and an endless supply of yogurt. So, grab your remote and your yogurt, and escape the doldrums with Chuck Finley.

Stop and Stare

It is with great trepidation that I am publishing this. Today’s topic is one which has been heavily on my mind lately, but I am still somewhat unsure how it should be approached. However, I saw something on another blog about it and figured if that guy could talk about it, then I certainly could. I want to talk about beauty.

Recently, I was having dinner with a bunch of friends. We were all eating and chatting and generally having a good time when a woman walked into the room. In a moment that could have been straight out of a bad sitcom, every guy at the table stopped whatever he was doing and stared at her. While the men may not have realized what was going on, every woman at that table sure did.

For the record, this woman was gorgeous. When she walked in, the other women in the room wanted to hide under their chairs. We all know what men want because it is so painfully obvious. When someone sees something they like, they stop and stare at it. The dirty little secret that not many women would admit is that we like being stared at.

That night, I did not sleep at all. Instead, that moment kept replaying over and over in my head, in stark contrast to the greeting I had received from those same guys. Every insecure memory from high school came rushing back, along with all the times I’ve been described as having a great personality or sat at home alone on a Friday night. It took every ounce of resolution I had to get out of bed the next morning.

One of my favorite movies is Breakfast at Tiffany’s. A lot of people don’t understand why, but it makes perfect sense to me. I’m pretty sure that deep inside of every woman is a Holly Golightly. We would never admit it, but underneath all our confidence and accomplishment is a terrified 16-year-old who just wants someone to like her.

Today’s woman is bombarded by two very different messages in the media, typified in the Playmate of the Year and the Dove True Beauty campaign. These two images are entirely incompatible, yet they both persist. We all know who wins, though. At the end of the day, the Playmate wins. Why? Because the self-confidence boosting messages are coming from other women.

Feminism preaches that a woman does not need a man’s approval, that she is complete without him. Creation teaches something else entirely: that woman was created from man and for him. Try as they might, all the bra burnings in the world cannot change what is biologically engrained in every female. 16-year-olds and grown women alike will always crave masculine appreciation.

Another concept taught by Creation is that male or female, every human is designed for a higher purpose than mutual admiration. Our very existence is solely for the glory and pleasure of the Creator. This is the Truth to which I continue to cling. It is a fact which transcends the pain of loneliness.

Someone asked me the other day if I knew any good men. I said yes, but that the last one had just gotten married. Keep up the good work, guys! If you happen to be a man reading this, please realize that women don’t want much—we just need you to realize how what you say and do affects us. We’re just usually too scared to bring all this stuff up because we’re worried you might label us as “high maintenance” or “unreasonable.”

To my female readers (as I know most of you are), I hope you know that you’re not alone. I’d urge you to mediate on truth and not believe all the lies out there. We’re not all supermodels, but we were all fearfully and wonderfully made the way we are for a reason.

Whoever you are, thanks for reading all the way to the end. Please understand that I do not mean any of this critically; I want merely to address an issue. No problem was ever solved without first being discussed. Feel free to continue the discussion in the comments section. I'd love to hear what ya'll have to say about this delicate subject.

Burst the Bubble

Allow me to preface this by saying that I work at a Christian college and love it. It happens to be the same college from which I graduated. I also attended a Bible Institute before college and before that, I was homeschooled. You could say that I have been thoroughly Christianized. My entire education (and indeed, life) has been conducted within what is commonly referred to as The Bubble.

A few years ago, The Bubble burst for me in a big way when my parents got divorced. My dad had even been a pastor and suddenly our church wouldn’t even talk to us. However, even before this, I had started poking at the walls of our Christian culture. One of the biggest things I ever learned was the question everything: to examine things for myself, constantly asking why.

What I have discovered is tragic. Instead of being the Salt and Light of the world that Christ Himself told us to be, we have built gated communities. We have become so afraid of being “of the world” that we are no longer in it! How can we change a society in which we have no part? Yes, it’s more comfortable here—people don’t think we’re weird when we’re all Christians.

We even have our own Christianese language. One of the most important things I looked for when finding a new church was the language. I needed to find a place where they spoke plain English. A church that is truly dedicated to communicating with the outside world doesn’t use words like “dispensationalism,” “hermeneutics,” and “VBS"expecting everyone to know what they mean.

So many of my friends refuse to listen to anything other than Christian music. They don’t go to movies; they only wear in-your-face Christian t-shirts. Everyone thinks we’re freaks and they’re right: weird is in the eye of the beholder. So how are they supposed to understand us? More importantly, how are we supposed to relate to them?

Instead of having our own GodTube, wouldn’t it be better if we flooded YouTube with Christian videos? Why do we have knock-off Christian bookstores, instead of publishing books that are good enough to be carried by Borders? If there is a market for quality materials, secular businesses will provide them. It’s the simple business concept of supply and demand and it applies just as well to religion.

Please don’t misunderstand me: I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ! I am, however, often embarrassed by Christians. Yes, we are different, but that doesn’t mean that we should be unapproachable. We’re coming up on another election and let’s remember that while religion should affect politics, politics is not all about religion. You certainly won’t see me protesting or boycotting.

Maybe you aren’t in The Bubble. You might not have any idea what I’m talking about, in which case, awesome! But if you are a member of the isolationist American subculture referred to as conservative evangelicalism, get out before it’s too late. I dare you to go out for a drink with your unsaved coworkers. As a wise woman once said “my Jesus brought the party” and we should too.