Make 'Em Laugh

Post-Christmas funk got you down? Need a good laugh? I know I certainly do! I’ve spent the last hour or so trolling YouTube for some of my favorite funny movies and thought I might share with ya’ll… have a laugh!

Singin’ in the Rain—Make ‘em Laugh

Love Actually—Gift Wrapping

The Producers—Haben Sie Gehort das Deutsche Band

Singin’ in the Rain—Moses Supposes

The Princess Bride—Miracle Max

The Wedding Singer—Love Stinks

So what are some of your all-time favorites?

A Little Christmas

Something seems a little off this holiday season. Maybe it’s the fact that we haven’t had snow since October, just lots and LOTS of rain—no, that can’t be it. After all, they still have Christmas in warm climates. We still have all the Christmas music, the decorations, the cookies, the parties are underway… so what feels so wrong?

I think I may have figured it out this morning. I heard someone say they wouldn’t spend as much as $13 on gifts for kids. Really, people?! Since when is $13 an unreasonable amount? I understand that all the gift expenses add up, so you want to be careful. I also fully understand that times are tough; nobody knows that better than me! I’m getting creative with my gifting this year and have had to save for a while to make even that much possible.

It seems to me that the greed of the season is what’s leaving that bad taste. When we were kids, we were told not to be greedy and want lots of presents. But now that we’re adults, it’s apparently okay to be greedy and not give lots of presents. This brand of greed seems even more repugnant and is running rampant this year.

Remember that Gift of the Magi story we heard as kids? Or maybe I was the only one who heard it at least once a year for the first 16 years of my life. It’s simply story about giving. Those two people had nothing but love so they gave anyway. Isn’t that what Christmas is all about? Last time I checked, we are celebrating God’s gift of Himself—something which we can never repay and can only hope to reflect.

Gifts don’t have to be big, fancy, expensive displays of cheap affluence. Anyone can buy stuff; that means nothing. That is not what a gift is. Maybe it’s because today is Pearl Harbor Day, but for some reason I seem to be even more sensitive to stark contrast between greed and sacrifice. The Christmas story is full of examples of those two attributes in its characters.

This has been a hard year for everyone. All you have to do is turn on the news to hear about unemployment rates, stocks dropping, Occupy Wall Street… after a year like this, we need a little Christmas spirit more than ever. Everyone seems to be hanging on to materialism even more tightly, when we should really be letting go and focusing on what is really important in life.

Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast

This morning I will believe that...

1.       I won’t forget that this is a day that the LORD has made—which means it’s perfect

2.       I shall not accidentally drop anything and wake up my flatmate

3.       My hair will behave and look nice today

4.       There will be enough in the cupboards from which to pack a lunch

5.       The ice on my car won’t take more than five minutes to scrape off

6.       I will manage update my blog but not be late for work

All I Want for Christmas

In honor of the Christmas season, I present a piece by my dear friend and author, Jae Maxson. You should buy her book.

All I Want for Christmas Is A New Last Name

For the average single chick out there, Christmas can be a challenging holiday. Not as bad as Valentine’s Day, of course, but difficult in a way. Let’s face it; there’s something romantic about this time of year—the snow, the lights, the Little House specials on Hallmark. In the movies, couples walk hand-in-hand in the snow, whispering sweet nothings. In real life, you walk through the over-crowded mall, get pushed out of line at the registers, and usually end up at Gertrude Hawk floating away on a river of dark chocolate oblivion.

Are you spending all day under the mistletoe waiting for some poor guy to come along and fall for that ridiculous tradition? Have you even left your house in the past 72 hours? Do you have your cats dressed as elves? Maybe you should read on.

We all like the idea of an older man, well established, with a steady job and his own transportation. But Santa is already taken. Some like the strong silent type—the forgotten hero who comes through in the end, and saves the day for even those who ridiculed him the most. But Rudolph settled down with Clarice on a nice three bedroom ranch with a to-die-for solarium. My favorite is the fun-loving guy who sticks around for a couple of days, and then leaves; only to come back when it snows. But Frosty…well, the whole “eyes of coal” thing creeps me out.

There is no perfect cure for the sudden need for a relationship at Christmastime. You won’t find two tickets to paradise in your stocking. Mr. Right isn’t going to come down your chimney. (If he does, call 911 right away). You’re not going to find a two carat ring in your Figgie pudding. Not unless you do something about it.

Don’t just sit around waiting for your very own Hallmark movie; go out and make it happen. Talk to that guy you’ve been thinking about. Leave your house, and go on a real date. (The cats can fend for themselves). Go to your company Christmas party with some dude you met in Price Chopper earlier that day. Have a good time, (biblically of course), this Christmas. And if you end up with a boyfriend for Christmas, always make sure to keep the receipt.

______________ for President

There’s an election coming up. Did you know that? In case you haven’t been watching SNL lately, consider this your reminder that there is in fact another election approaching. A year from now (almost to the day), there will be a national election in which the presidential ballot will be the most significant. I do not yet know whom I will be endorsing for President; however, I do know that it will not be Barack Obama.

The field of Republican contenders is still wide open. Historically, everyone expects the Iowa Caucus and New Hampshire Primary to help us narrow it down a little. These are pretty much the biggest things those two states have going for them, so we let them have their moment every four years. Right now, thousands of hours and millions of dollars are being devoted solely to these two random states.

By the time the candidates work their way to Pennsylvania, the decision will almost be made. When it’s my turn to vote in a primary, I do know who I’ll be nominating: Rick Santorum. Why? Because he’s as much an anti-Obama as you can get. As a former senator from the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, I even got to meet him once. What’s the difference between a commonwealth and a state? I have no idea. Probably about the same as the difference between a caucus and a primary.

For some unknown reason, Mr. Santorum continues to be largely ignored by the media. Perhaps they realize the threat true he is to the status quo and hope that if they pretend he doesn’t exist, he’ll just go away. They’re only just now starting to be forced to acknowledge his presence. As other Republican candidates begin to shrivel up and die in the limelight, Santorum keeps chugging along, campaigning in the background.

That right there is probably the biggest single difference between Mr. Santorum and the other wannabe-nominees: consistency. It was for very this reason that he lost his Senate seat a few years ago. He stuck to his pro-life guns and our infamous swing state gave him the boot. However, the most recent PA state election swung heavily back in the conservative direction. Indeed, last year’s national prevalence of the Tea Party may very well signal the tone of the next presidential election.

I’m voting for Rick Santorum. You vote for whomever you like, just please, vote! This is one of those rare opportunities to actually make each vote count, since so few people actually participate at this early stage of an election. So do your homework, and pay particular attention to the candidates' foreign policy records. I don’t know about you, but a little part of me would die if when we get to next November the only choice I have is between Obama and Newt Gingrich. I’d just as soon write in Pedro for President.

Centipede V: Peter Parker

All’s been quiet in the library these past few weeks. I attribute the reprieve to Peter Parker. Peter Parker was strategically placed on my desk as a guard by my lovely flatmate. He guards my office, my workspace, and most importantly, my candy corn. I must say, he has been doing an excellent job as watchman.

Who, you may ask, is this enigmatic guardian? This silent protector who remains steadfast through the darkest night? He could be you or me, any one of us. He is only an ordinary pumpkin, even undersized and apparently insignificant. Yet when a hero was needed, he valiantly donned the painted mask of a spider and took up his post.

We librarians may now go about our daily lives free from fear. He who was once considered a ghoulish Halloween decoration has proven to be our shield against all that is creepy and crawly. Where dangerous, disgusting creatures once skittered unabashedly, now they dare not venture. While this peace may not last forever, we will enjoy it while it does.

Evil undoubtedly continues to lurk in the shadows. Even a brave little pumpkin cannot live forever. We are all keenly aware that this may be merely the calm before the storm. The last, great battle looms in all of our minds. While the final doom awaits, we make the most of our time with our beloved books… and Peter Parker.

Inspiration Fabrication

Someone asked me the other day why I haven’t written in a while. I had to think about my answer for a moment. A few popped into my head, “I’ve been busy, tired, etc.” The truth is that I just haven’t felt like it. I usually only write when I have been inspired, and I have not been inspired in a long time. Most days, I have a hard enough time being motivating myself to even get out of bed, forget about the effort it takes to write.

My flatmate and I have recently been on an inspirational movie kick at home. It’s been a lot of fun to work our way through Braveheart, Miracle, et al., but there has been a serious disconnect somewhere along the line with me. Even after spending hours watching other people fighting for something in which they believe, I feel nothing. Should I feel even the slightest stirring, I am immediately reminded that I have to get up early in the morning; therefore, I delay any action.

Admittedly, I have done a few unusual (for me) things in the past couple days: donated to a political campaign, and got a new haircut… but that’s about it. Those things aren’t exactly life-changing. Or are they? In the absence of a lofty quest, perhaps the everyday becomes more significant. It has struck me that most popular heroes are in the Greatness-Thrust-Upon-Them category. You know, the average Joe who suddenly finds himself called upon to save the world.

Who knows, adventure may yet beckon—and in that moment I must be ready! More often than not, success lies in preparation. While I have not been inspired in a long time, I may be very soon. By that token, I write today. Cicero said that “even if you have nothing to write, write and say so” and I do so. There entire epistle has been a fabrication of necessity in the absence of inspiration and for that, I apologize. Until a genuine muse appears, feel free to check out my film site for a cheap imitation.