RIP Jack Bauer... Yeah, Right!

The end of an era is upon us. Tonight, America will lose its greatest hero. We know that Jack Bauer is our greatest hero because Superman once challenged him and the loser now has to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants. Jack was unavailable for comment on the incident. You can never talk to Jack because he can't talk now. He'll explain later.

Our nation has learned many important things from Jack, such as the impotency of law enforcement perimeters and how to interrogate a terrorist with a lamp. There are many things we now say because of Jack, including “there’s no time, dammit!” Most of us are now much more suspicious of our coworkers because we can’t help wondering who is The Mole. These days, the last question on most health insurance forms is "Have you now, or ever in your past, made Jack Bauer mad?”

After tonight, Jack will hopefully have time to eat, sleep, and go to the bathroom for the first time in eight years, before he goes to work on the rumored film project. He will probably never find or be able to hang onto true love, but we citizens are eternally grateful... that we didn't get shot.

Finally, I would like to remind and warn the writers of 24 that killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead—it just makes him angry. Someone was stupid enough to suggest that the only way to end the show was to kill Jack. Nobody knows who said that because Jack found him first, found out who he was really working for, and made sure nobody else could ever find out. Besides, we all know that if not even terrorists or New York City can kill Jack, you might as well not even try.

Happy Monday!

Today is one of those days that generally gets a bad rap and for no other reason than its name. Think about it… if not for Monday, then we would eventually only end up hating Tuesday. After all, the work week has to start at some point or this may as well be France.

I admit that when my alarm went off this morning, my first conscious thoughts were not joyous. There’s just something about it being Monday that makes 0630 absolutely gruesome. It is very possible that my dad and Michael Scott are the only two people in the world who love waking up and going to work on a Monday morning.

There are, however, a few things to get excited about on a Monday. This evening’s tv schedule is great: House, Castle, 24, and Chuck. It’s only four more days till Friday… yeah, that’s all I can think of that’s exciting about Monday. Might as well get it over with and move on to the rest of the week.