All I Want for Christmas

In honor of the Christmas season, I present a piece by my dear friend and author, Jae Maxson. You should buy her book.

All I Want for Christmas Is A New Last Name

For the average single chick out there, Christmas can be a challenging holiday. Not as bad as Valentine’s Day, of course, but difficult in a way. Let’s face it; there’s something romantic about this time of year—the snow, the lights, the Little House specials on Hallmark. In the movies, couples walk hand-in-hand in the snow, whispering sweet nothings. In real life, you walk through the over-crowded mall, get pushed out of line at the registers, and usually end up at Gertrude Hawk floating away on a river of dark chocolate oblivion.

Are you spending all day under the mistletoe waiting for some poor guy to come along and fall for that ridiculous tradition? Have you even left your house in the past 72 hours? Do you have your cats dressed as elves? Maybe you should read on.

We all like the idea of an older man, well established, with a steady job and his own transportation. But Santa is already taken. Some like the strong silent type—the forgotten hero who comes through in the end, and saves the day for even those who ridiculed him the most. But Rudolph settled down with Clarice on a nice three bedroom ranch with a to-die-for solarium. My favorite is the fun-loving guy who sticks around for a couple of days, and then leaves; only to come back when it snows. But Frosty…well, the whole “eyes of coal” thing creeps me out.

There is no perfect cure for the sudden need for a relationship at Christmastime. You won’t find two tickets to paradise in your stocking. Mr. Right isn’t going to come down your chimney. (If he does, call 911 right away). You’re not going to find a two carat ring in your Figgie pudding. Not unless you do something about it.

Don’t just sit around waiting for your very own Hallmark movie; go out and make it happen. Talk to that guy you’ve been thinking about. Leave your house, and go on a real date. (The cats can fend for themselves). Go to your company Christmas party with some dude you met in Price Chopper earlier that day. Have a good time, (biblically of course), this Christmas. And if you end up with a boyfriend for Christmas, always make sure to keep the receipt.

______________ for President

There’s an election coming up. Did you know that? In case you haven’t been watching SNL lately, consider this your reminder that there is in fact another election approaching. A year from now (almost to the day), there will be a national election in which the presidential ballot will be the most significant. I do not yet know whom I will be endorsing for President; however, I do know that it will not be Barack Obama.

The field of Republican contenders is still wide open. Historically, everyone expects the Iowa Caucus and New Hampshire Primary to help us narrow it down a little. These are pretty much the biggest things those two states have going for them, so we let them have their moment every four years. Right now, thousands of hours and millions of dollars are being devoted solely to these two random states.

By the time the candidates work their way to Pennsylvania, the decision will almost be made. When it’s my turn to vote in a primary, I do know who I’ll be nominating: Rick Santorum. Why? Because he’s as much an anti-Obama as you can get. As a former senator from the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, I even got to meet him once. What’s the difference between a commonwealth and a state? I have no idea. Probably about the same as the difference between a caucus and a primary.

For some unknown reason, Mr. Santorum continues to be largely ignored by the media. Perhaps they realize the threat true he is to the status quo and hope that if they pretend he doesn’t exist, he’ll just go away. They’re only just now starting to be forced to acknowledge his presence. As other Republican candidates begin to shrivel up and die in the limelight, Santorum keeps chugging along, campaigning in the background.

That right there is probably the biggest single difference between Mr. Santorum and the other wannabe-nominees: consistency. It was for very this reason that he lost his Senate seat a few years ago. He stuck to his pro-life guns and our infamous swing state gave him the boot. However, the most recent PA state election swung heavily back in the conservative direction. Indeed, last year’s national prevalence of the Tea Party may very well signal the tone of the next presidential election.

I’m voting for Rick Santorum. You vote for whomever you like, just please, vote! This is one of those rare opportunities to actually make each vote count, since so few people actually participate at this early stage of an election. So do your homework, and pay particular attention to the candidates' foreign policy records. I don’t know about you, but a little part of me would die if when we get to next November the only choice I have is between Obama and Newt Gingrich. I’d just as soon write in Pedro for President.

Centipede V: Peter Parker

All’s been quiet in the library these past few weeks. I attribute the reprieve to Peter Parker. Peter Parker was strategically placed on my desk as a guard by my lovely flatmate. He guards my office, my workspace, and most importantly, my candy corn. I must say, he has been doing an excellent job as watchman.

Who, you may ask, is this enigmatic guardian? This silent protector who remains steadfast through the darkest night? He could be you or me, any one of us. He is only an ordinary pumpkin, even undersized and apparently insignificant. Yet when a hero was needed, he valiantly donned the painted mask of a spider and took up his post.

We librarians may now go about our daily lives free from fear. He who was once considered a ghoulish Halloween decoration has proven to be our shield against all that is creepy and crawly. Where dangerous, disgusting creatures once skittered unabashedly, now they dare not venture. While this peace may not last forever, we will enjoy it while it does.

Evil undoubtedly continues to lurk in the shadows. Even a brave little pumpkin cannot live forever. We are all keenly aware that this may be merely the calm before the storm. The last, great battle looms in all of our minds. While the final doom awaits, we make the most of our time with our beloved books… and Peter Parker.

Inspiration Fabrication

Someone asked me the other day why I haven’t written in a while. I had to think about my answer for a moment. A few popped into my head, “I’ve been busy, tired, etc.” The truth is that I just haven’t felt like it. I usually only write when I have been inspired, and I have not been inspired in a long time. Most days, I have a hard enough time being motivating myself to even get out of bed, forget about the effort it takes to write.

My flatmate and I have recently been on an inspirational movie kick at home. It’s been a lot of fun to work our way through Braveheart, Miracle, et al., but there has been a serious disconnect somewhere along the line with me. Even after spending hours watching other people fighting for something in which they believe, I feel nothing. Should I feel even the slightest stirring, I am immediately reminded that I have to get up early in the morning; therefore, I delay any action.

Admittedly, I have done a few unusual (for me) things in the past couple days: donated to a political campaign, and got a new haircut… but that’s about it. Those things aren’t exactly life-changing. Or are they? In the absence of a lofty quest, perhaps the everyday becomes more significant. It has struck me that most popular heroes are in the Greatness-Thrust-Upon-Them category. You know, the average Joe who suddenly finds himself called upon to save the world.

Who knows, adventure may yet beckon—and in that moment I must be ready! More often than not, success lies in preparation. While I have not been inspired in a long time, I may be very soon. By that token, I write today. Cicero said that “even if you have nothing to write, write and say so” and I do so. There entire epistle has been a fabrication of necessity in the absence of inspiration and for that, I apologize. Until a genuine muse appears, feel free to check out my film site for a cheap imitation.

Yahweh Yireh

Hallelujah! September is over! I don’t know how this past month was for you, but it was pretty brutal over here. It was so bad that I had to make up a new word because all others failed in description: lifesore. Lifesore is what happens when the hits just keep on coming, day after day. You know, when you get so sore that you can’t even get out of bed in the morning because it hurts just to move.

I had planned to use this title for a blog post last weekend, to celebrate financial provision. The bills from my knee surgery in August finally filtered through the insurance and simultaneously down to me. They were quite a bit bigger than I had anticipated and I don’t have several hundred dollars just lying around. You can imagine the anxiety which set in as I did the math, even though I already knew I would be short.

However, I had forgotten that because of the calendar’s set up there were actually three paychecks this September! My budget is structured around two paychecks, so the unexpected third was exactly what I needed. I was able to use the extra payday to cover the medical bills, knowing that there would still be another one before I had to pay my rent.

The plan was to write about all that last weekend while I was in New York for a funeral. That did not happen because my car broke down while I was halfway there. And by broke down, I mean my transmission blew just as I hit the PA/NY/NJ border on I-84. It didn’t just blow, it was “blown to hell,” according to the mechanic.

Now that I am at last getting a chance to write this, it looks quite different than I had originally intended. I have so much more for which to be grateful, blessings such as: being able to (barely) coast off the highway and avoid an actual accident; having already been wearing a very cute new hat so that the rain wasn’t quite so dampening; my grandparents helping me pay for a “new” transmission.

All that to say how very excited I am that September is over. I am even more excited that my Lord sees and provides for my needs before I ever could. Seriously, how long ago did the whole calendar thing get set up? No way could I have taken care of that one! For a month that started with half the county getting flooded out, it sure put a strain on divine providence.

September reminded me again and again that life hurts. Sometimes it’s physical pain, like strength training on my refurbished knee, which hurts like a bad word. Other times it’s emotional stress, like wanting to panic when your car dies. Most often it involves a spiritual ache for a better world, a kingdom which is not of this world. The one place I can find enough strength is in the knowledge that our God has already provided for not only our temporal needs, but even for our eternal.

Like A Rock

Driving home from Upstate New York on Sunday in the middle of Hurricane Irene, I felt like I should have been in one of those car commercials. You know, the ones where they show you how awesome the vehicle is by driving it through rivers, over boulders, hauling the Titanic, and then launching it into space to fix the International Space Station. Then at the end someone sings “like a rock, ohhhh like a rock!” and that’s supposed to make you buy their product.

Blatant materialism aside, my little Spencer performed like a champ and nobody is allowed to criticize him ever again. I spent most of the trip gripping the steering wheel and contemplating rocks in all forms, including rock ballads and rock slides. I found myself meditating on the parable of the wise man who built on rock and whose house withstood a hurricane; the foolish man had built on sand and his house was washed away.

My flatmate and I were recently discussing fear. Fear of getting robbed, mugged, carjacked, etc. This is something we all consider occasionally, whenever we see it another violent crime against an innocent victim reported on the front page. It’s not a question of whether we will have storms in life, only of when. The real question is how then do we live.

One particularly common sentiment seems to be that all you have to do is get married. Everyone seems to expect that a spouse will fix everything that is wrong in their life—everything from their car to their parents’ marriage. My heart breaks for this mindset. A wedding is not the happy ending, complete with riding off into the sunset and happily ever after. It is only a (hopefully) happy beginning. I worry that my friends will discover this the hard way.

No mere human can control every aspect of life. There has yet to be a single person in my life who has not let me down at one point or another. Relationships fail. Jobs are lost. Looks fade. People die. When life shakes you to the core, you’d better hope your foundation is sturdy enough to handle it. Trouble happens, but you can’t let the fear of it rule your life.

There are always several responsive options: you can fight, you can run away, you can ignore it and hope it goes away…. That decision defines you. It will impact the rest of your life in ways you can’t even fathom. Yes, you should be able to rely on your husband, wife, father, mother, etc. But “should” and “could” are two very different things. When you suddenly can’t depend on anyone or anything else, the Rock on which you should have built your life is going to matter even more.

The conclusion of the aforementioned conversation on fear was that we could never leave the house, but that would be no way to live. Sure, we could hide under the covers, yet we choose to go out and confront life head-on! Every day, we each must boldly go where no one has gone before! Even if that means sometimes having to drive through a hurricane.

Older Women Teach

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior… to teach what is good, and so train the young women… that the word of God may not be reviled.

Titus 2:3-5, ESV

Recently I have been noticing how much my relationships with older women have been developing. Now, by “older women” I simply mean women who have been handling life a little bit longer than I have—not that anyone is actually old. As I continue through life, some things are getting easier, but a lot of things are getting harder. Having more experienced people’s help along the way makes a HUGE difference.

These godly women have been helping to fill the void left by my mother. I wouldn’t say that anyone is formally mentoring me, but they are all teaching me something: one woman loves to remind me that she didn’t even meet her husband till she was 30. Another one has the best dessert recipes ever! Another has never been able to have children. Another one is a little bit older and still single, but she’s probably the coolest person I’ve ever met.

Something I’ve been learning about life is that no two experiences are the same. There may be some general similarities, but the happy family with 2.5 kids is more the exception than the rule. Nobody’s life is perfect, certainly not all the time. What matters is your ability to gracefully deal with all the conflict and confusion, especially in the everyday.

The best part is that most of the time, these women inspire me without even realizing it. I may see them at church, or at work, or on facebook, or at Walmart… the where does not matter because of who they are. They are living as virtuous examples. It’s a little scary to think that there's always someone younger who might be watching me, looking for her own role model. I guess the good news is that we “older women” are all in the whole “teaching” thing together.